Naked firefighting and toilet diving

We have had a bad run with appliances over the last year or so. I am incredibly grateful we took out that insurance on electrical motor failure, as at the rate we are going, the dishwasher will explode at some stage, spraying hot water everywhere, which will lead to the fridge shorting out, and then the toaster will spontaneously combust, causing the stove to... you get the idea. Last year, just before we put our house on the market, I was attempting to cook some kind of sustenance while Tim was having a shower. The older two of our children were fighting over whose turn it was to have the finding nemo plate and Will was making an interesting paste of vegemite toast and orange juice on his high chair table. With a really loud BANG sheets of flame (which looked about 30 feet long) started to shoot out of the griller on the stove. My daughter, worrying that I may not have noticed our kitchen bonfire, pointed out that "the stove looks a bit funny". I shouted for Tim, grabbed the kids and shoved them very unceremoniously outside. They were not grateful for my lifesaving efforts, as it was minus 5 out on the back deck. Tim galloped from the bathroom, grabbed the fire extinguisher from under the sink and managed to put the fire out with great dispatch. As we stood there, looking at each other and the scorch marks up our kitchen wall, I realised that Tim was sans towel. I pointed out to him that not only was he my hero for putting out the fire, but he also had managed to fulfill one of a girl's greatest fantasies - a naked firefighter in her house. Sigh. I was most disappointed when the dryer caught fire in our new house - Tim stayed fully clothed. He has offered to redeem himself with the next combustion event but I became concerned that the kids might think this was a normal thing and next time the fire brigade came to do fire education at the school, it would lead to questions about why they bothered to wear a uniform "as my dad always fights fires naked". That would lead to an interesting parent teacher night interview.

On the subject of interesting stories, I have to share this one with you. Very good friends of ours, who got married last year and are expecting their first bub, are the proud owners of 3 Burmese cats. Now, those of you who have had dealings with Burmese puddas know that eccentric is a kind way of describing their mad as a cut snake snake behaviour. Their littlest cat, Polly, has developed a fascination for the toilet, which usually leads to what my friend refers to as the odd "surprise flush" when Polly steps on a button on the cistern. On this particular day, Kate had gone out shopping and Tim (her Tim, not my Tim) was just hanging around at home. Nature called (as it is wont to do) and whilst he was standing in the bathroom, Polly came in for a look see and on this occasion she decided that the cistern was BORING and the action in the bowl looked like the way to go. Normally Burmese are reasonably light on the feet, but for some reason Polly jumped up, lost her footing and fell in with a resounding splash. I should point out at this time that Tim had finished the "business" but had not flushed, so the cat was more than just wet. Polly, needless to say, was unimpressed by this turn of events and felt that Tim did not improve things by proceeding to give her a nice bath (we all know how much cats LOVE baths). Kate got home and was slightly perplexed that the house smelled of wee (Polly had done a little run around before Tim caught her to chuck her in the bath), but I think they now feel a little more confident about any nappy emergencies that may crop up in the near future. They are also going to fix the lock on their bathroom door. Can't be too careful.