Ok, here is the diary some of you have been asking for in it's unedited glory. I will put this up in several posts, as otherwise it will be too long and some of you might start wishing I would just SHUT THE HELL UP (those who don't feel that way already, that is). Background for those not in the know : I did the Biggest Loser challenge at my local gym, Fernwood, from start of February to end of April this year. During this time I kept a journal and some extracts were published in a magazine this month. They were heavily edited, so here are the entries in all their glory. Also, below is a "before" photo, which was one of the one's that horrified me enough to think about losing some weight.
February 2, 2007
Orientation session
So, here I am at the start of this challenge. Part of me thinks I must be nuts – I’ve failed every other diet/fitness regime I’ve started in the last 10 years (god, looking at that number is so depressing), so why would this one be any different? Another part is excited – maybe this is the thing that will get me started on the road I need to take? But, overwhelmingly, what I feel is fear. Fear I’ll fail, fear I’ll succeed (weird, weird, weird), fear I’ll only partly get there and then every negative feeling, bad habit etc will just come crashing in on me and I’ll just give up and walk away. I should know – I’ve done it heaps of time before. Why I it so easy to give up on yourself when you would never let your husband, best friend or family member do it? Why do I get the feeling that the changes in this are not only going to be physical? Ok, way too many questions. On with what the challenge is all about.
We have been divided into 2 teams (red and blue) and there are about 10 of us are in each and we are a pretty mixed bunch of women. Some I have seen around the gym before and others I have never seen. We were introduced to the trainers who would be seeing us through (Sophie and Helen) as well as the slim coaches (Odette and Amanda). Julie is our team co-ordinator and I get the feeling that they are all going to be working really hard over the next 12 weeks (almost as hard as those of us doing the challenge!). Officially we start on Sunday (when the Biggest Loser starts screening on TV) so – game on! We had our weigh in for our starting stats and think I want to die – I have managed to let it creep up to 133.3kg. Crap! I think that makes me one of the heaviest people on this challenge, maybe in this gym. There are no words that can describe how bad this feels.
I am aiming to try and do at least 1 class per day, maybe 2. I will have to see how I go - that would be increasing my exercise that I currently do by about70% I will also have my first PT and slim session this week. My personal trainer is Lynn and I know her from RPM, so it will be interesting to train with her 1 on 1.
Week 1
OK, I take it back. This is the hardest thing I have ever physically done – right now I am so bloody tired I can’t even think about how hard it is mentally. I think if I make it through work this week without putting my underpants on the outside of my trousers it will be a miracle. Lynn pushed me so hard at PT I ended up making cough cough retchy noises (which REALLY alarmed the girl training on the treadmill next to me). I also did RPM three days in a row and yesterday when I got out of the class and I realized that I was actually wobbling (I mean, from muscle fatigue. The fat bits like my bum and legs always wobble) around like my legs had been deboned. I also tried bodypump for the first time and as a result walked like a duck for 2 days afterwards. Quack quack.
The slimplicity program is so much easier than I thought – we get a diary which we have to write down everything we eat and when we eat it. We also get a really strict meal plan, which at first I thought I would hate but it has made eating so much easier. It has also been fantastic – I lost 3kg in my first week. Yay! I do have to admit to being a bit hungry at nighttime and it is hard to keep walking past the pantry and fridge, but that is just old bad habits pulling me back in. That or I have little elves living in my kitchen actually chanting “eat more cheese, eat more cheese”!
Week 2
This week I am kind of ok and kind of not. I am still as tired as last week (actually fell asleep at my desk and made one of those weird snork noises you do when your head falls back. My staff laughed for 10 minutes) but have made it through 5 RPM classes so far, a team training session with Helen where I thought at least 3 of us were going to expire, PT with Lynn and a slim session. I have no idea how I am doing the rest of my life – my incredible husband is holding it all together at home, taking care of the kids every night while I sweat my butt off at the gym. My biggest problem is still my very sad cheese addiction. I actually found myself with my nose pressed up against the glass cabinet in a local deli, slowly drowning in my own saliva as I sighed over all of the brie and Camembert that was so close, soooooooo close… the best way I have found to deal with this is to work out how long it would take me work off a piece of cheese in the gym. I can easily eat an entire 125gm cheese all by myself, which adds up to (brace yourself) 1616kg (404 calories). This means I have to RUN (you have got to be bloody kidding me) for at least 45minutes just to ensure my thighs do not get extra dimples in them (they already have more than a crateful of oranges). This works most of the time. Notice the emphasis on most – there are times when want to lick a block of cheese all over just so I can get the taste without eating it all. I just read that sentence – possibly one of the weirdest things ever written. Am fairly sure normal people do not think about doing that. At least, they don’t ADMIT it. Surely there is someone out there who… now that I think about it, perhaps I shouldn’t explore this. You never know WHAT people think about licking – could end up making cheese look pretty tame. Right, I need to focus on something else. More good news on the weight loss front this week - 3.5 kg. Yay me!!!! My clothes are starting to feel a bit looser but they should – Helen had me do so many sit ups I couldn’t actually stand upright for 2 days.
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