diary pt 2

Week 3
Hit the wall big time this week – actually went into the gym and when one of the trainers asked if I was ok, I burst into tears. I think the reality of this whole challenge finally just hit me. This is more than just the 12 weeks of the challenge – it is my whole lifestyle and even when I lose all of the weight, I have to make sure I never end up back where I was when I started on this journey. It kind of does my head in to think that I gave up on myself so much that I was literally eating myself towards type 2 diabetes, heart disease, crappy joints and more than likely a life 15 years shorter than it should be. I know this is the same thing that is in every motivational book I have ever read, but I think each time I was reading one of these, I was either thinking “yeah, but this person was so much fatter than me, so I don’t need to worry” or “this person is so strong and I could never do that”. Now I know I HAVE to do this – lose the weight and to do that I have to get off my big bum. I have to change the way I think about myself. I am worth this. I can do this. I can do better. Of course, this did not come out as coherently as this when I was sitting in the gym crying all over Sid, one of the trainers up there. It sounded a lot more like mix between Swahili and that weird noise a donkey makes when it’s really trying to get its point across. Went through a lot of tissues and ended up looking like ended up looking all blotchy. Sid was great – sympathetic, listened to me carry on, gave some great advice and then marched me into the Bodycombat class her sister Nat was running. Just to cheer me up.

Week 4
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday, dear me, happy birthday to me. I have just clicked over 37 years and to celebrate I had PT and did and RPM class. I really know how to enjoy myself! Lynn wished me happy birthday and then kicked my arse from one end of Fernwood to the other. Also had a mortifying moment in step this week – I slipped off the end of the step, which flipped up into the air, came down with an almighty “kerchunk” noise, hit my water bottle, which flew across the room, spraying its contents along the way. To say I was embarrassed is putting it lightly. The instructor made sure no one was hurt and then helped me set my stuff back up. Everyone was really helpful and sympathetic, which was great and made it worse at the same time. I wonder how may calories you burn off when you blush for 20 minutes? I feel happier this week – more in control of things (apart from my step!), especially the diet. Exercise is becoming more routine rather than torture. I was, of course, stupid enough to mention this to Lynn, who took it as a sign that I needed to challenge myself more. This challenge involved SPRINTING on the elliptical trainer for 5 minutes, resting for 1, sprinting, resting etc until I couldn’t run anymore. I assured her this wouldn’t take long, so she put a minimum time of 25 minutes. Am never, ever telling Lynn I am finding something easy or routine. It hurts too much. Lost 0.3kg this week. I have to admit to being a bit disappointed, but it is still a loss. I am close to 7kg better off than I was at the start of this challenge.

Week 5
One great thing that has come out of this challenge is that I am making some great friends amongst the women on my team. Everyone is so supportive and I think a lot of us know just what a big change this is. On my team there is another Emma, who is great and attacks an RPM class like a maniac. Jo, who does so many classes it is amazing (I think she lives at the gym) and is always encouraging other challenge participants in the gym. I am also making friends with the so called “opposition”, the red team (I’m blue). Leith has kids at the same school mine go to and is another person who I think must have a bed at the gym as she is there all the time and I am getting to be good friends with Leanne, who is amazing as she just never gives up, no matter how hard the training is. Some bad news this week – we lost our team trainer Helen as her younger daughter had an accident and she needs to spend more time at home with her. Sophie has put on the superwoman cape and is now kicking all of our butts from one end of the gym to the other on group training nights, with the help from Olivia, who seems to think that a 45 minute abs workout is normal.

This week I managed to really excel myself at group training – we were doing shuttle runs in the group training room and I decided that what was really needed was me getting up close and personal with the floor at high speed. My shoulder made a fairly interesting popping noise and I managed to leave a significant amount of skin on the carpet. I have not had carpet burn like that since I tripped when chasing my sister when I was about 10 and did a full on face plant into the brown shagpile that was in our home at the time. I would like to say that the worst injury was to my pride, but to be honest I really hurt myself and Leanne was kind enough to drive me home, as my knee and shoulder came out in some very impressive bruising by the end of the class (I watched whilst applying ice packs to various joints). The rest of the team felt that no matter how much I wanted to lose weight, scraping a few 100gms of skin off on the carpet was not the easiest way to do it. Ha ha.