A medical breakthrough

During this week I have been mulling over a scientific theory which I feel I must share with everyone. There is not just one type of Tourette's Syndrome in the world - there are at least two types. One is the type where the person has a particular disorder where they swear uncontrollably etc. The other is the lesser known (i.e. I thought of it) but possibly much more commonly experienced tourette's, that I like to call "experiential tourrette's" . You have someone or something in your life that causes you a great deal of exasperation, stress, bad feelings, grumpiness and causes you to do things like regularly entertain homicidal thoughts whenever you are dealing with them or thinking about dealing with them. Over a period of time, the stress causes by this person or thing grows to a point where everytime you either hear their name (or even think about them) you starting swearing uncontrollably. Here is an example : you are dealing with your local telephone company over a billing error. They assure you repeatedly that your custom is important to them, whilst stuffing you around royally, not fixing the problem and ultimately pissing you right off. The next time year hear the name of this telephone company, the words (look away now children) "fucking arseholes, shit, fuckers, bastard, mother fucker, suck face, small dick, shit, bum" spill uncontrollably from your lips, increasing the rising feeling of anger and frustration that causes you to down 3 vodka martinis without even thinking. This is a very unfortunate thing, especially if you are attending high tea with your mother in law and she is talking about the new phone she has put in.

My suggestion: instead of pouring money into research to help sufferer's "control" their behaviour, the money would be better spent on hit squads who could take out the offending person or organisation. I think I would like to refer to this as a kind of vaccination against dickheads and will now go and work on my proposal for a grant to take this beyond the concept stage.