A theory about road rage

On the weekend I ran (jogged) in the Mother's Day Classic, which is a 5km fun run to raise money for the National breast Cancer foundation. Although this is an excellent cause, I still really have a problem with this concept - actually, both concepts : breast cancer and fun run. Breast cancer is fairly obvious but the whole idea of making a run "fun" was only dreamed up by people who bound out of bed at 6am with their sneakers already on and take off for a "little" 10km jog whilst hearing the "Chariots of Fire" music in their heads without the benefit of an ipod. I suppose it is bad marketing to say "come and inflict at least some discomfort on yourself to raise money for breast cancer funds", but isn't honesty the best policy? I suppose I prefer to delude myself most of the time, so I am a good one to talk. Anyway, an incident occurred during the run that has got me thinking about why drivers get so soooooooooo fricken' cranky on the roads. My dad and sister also ran in this and as my dad was coming up to cross the road (which had been closed and widely advertised that it would be closed for this event) an upstanding young gentleman in a white ute was arguing with the chappie with the "stop" lollipop and claiming his god given right to drive like a moron on this particularly fine Sunday morning. The lollipop guy was putting up a fairly stoic and considered debate to this view (I believe moron ute driver was told to "calm the frick down") and finally, ute moron guy snapped, jumped into his great white symbol of testosterone blokiness and DROVE THROUGH the runners who were crossing the road, blaring his horn and waving his fists. God knows what he was actually steering the car with, but I think we all know that it wasn't the big brain making a lot of his decisions, given his previous behaviour. This was followed by an experience of my own yesterday, where someone tailgated me all the way into work up Limestone Avenue and resorted to obscene finger gestures when I chose to ignore her polite suggestions that I just run over the cars in front of me. Now, I don't know exactly what is going on to cause all of this tanty behaviour, but I have a few theories.
1) Basic anatomy. For some people, when they get in their cars, they end up getting a bad wedgie every time. I think we've all been there at least once and let's face it, if this happens on a regular basis, you are going to be a little short tempered. And as they are obviously too much of a lady or gentleman to remove their undies from the area where the sun doesn't shine, it is much better to get angry and shout obscenities at other drivers on the road.
2) They have the BEST JOB IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!! Now, I like my job, I really do. However, if the traffic is bad on a particular morning, the most I feel is mild exasperation that I may get to work a bit late and have the park where the birds will poop all over my car during the day. Obviously, the people who completely FLIP OUT when you are 3 seconds too slow off the mark when the light changes green have THE BEST JOB IN THE WHOLE WORLD. The anger they feel that precious seconds will be lost at work is just too much to bear. Understandably, if you have THE BEST JOB IN THE WHOLE WORLD, your emotional outburst where you cast aspersions on someones genetic heritage loudly out of the car window is quite justified.
3) People who inflict road rage on other drivers are nobs. I like this theory.

Customer service par excellence

Just had to blog about this. My sister in law, who is living with us at the moment, went in search of a coat last weekend as she is used to much warmer temperatures. After a night of tracking through stores, she found a nice one in one of the large, well known stores here in Canberra (rhymes with liar). The sales assistant who did the sale informed her that as she had spent over 75, she was entitled to a box of chocolates (part of their mothers day promotions). My sister in law made a comment about how nice that was and (wait for it) the sales assistant looked at her and said "Oh, do you think so? You ARE already having to buy plus sized clothes". I AM NOT JOKING!!!! Now, my sister in law is a nice, polite person and just took the chocolates and walked away. I would have taken the chocolates, eaten them and shoved the empty box up the shop assistant, but I have never claimed to be a nice person. Be careful out there, people. Customer service in a shop still seems to be an optional thing.

TV viewing

Having been laid low with some kind of revolting virus (again!!!) which has the wonderful side effect of making a movie last 3 times longer because I keep dozing off in parts, I am getting to experience the wonders of daytime TV for the second time within a month. I now know how to fix my marriage, make a 4 course meal out of 2 ingredients and how to turn 3 toilet tolls and glitter into a toy my kids will play with for hours. How I thought my life was complete before, I have no idea. I also now realise why people actually resort to buying the crap advertised on the shopping network - if you buy and ab blaster at least you have something to do besides watch the shite that is being rolled across the networks between 9am and 5pm. Perhaps this is all part of the plan to get people back to work though - put complete crud on TV during the day and most people will want to go back to work rather than have their brain rot whilst they watch Kerri Anne show you how you can brighten up your lounge room curtains with a bedazzler, can of spray paint and a tea pot stencil (you think I'm joking, don't you?).




On the bright side, I have caught up on a few DVDs that have been sitting around with their plastic on for a while and also been able to watch the daytime antics of our two bearded dragons, Monty and Oscar. These two guys came into our lives in January this year after repeated requests (aka nagging) from Grace and Cameron for these pets. Above is a photo of what they looked like when they first arrived in January. They are now much bigger and below is a video of what they look like now and the stuff they like to do during the day. I know some people who act a lot the same way when they are at work and I bet you do too. Some of our friends have found this approach to pet keeping (we have 2 bearded dragons and about 30 giant stick insects at our place) a little unconventional but I have to say they are pretty quiet, eat the skin they shed and the pooh is much easier to deal with. Also, if you are going to have a pet draped around your neck, a bearded dragon is much more comfortable than a beagle. Don't ask how I know - it's one of those questions that you REALLY don't want the answer to.